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Wednesday, February 17, 2010, 12:05:00 AM Happy CNY. a faker cny i had gone thru. went to pasir ris "Aloha Loyang Chalet". i don understand y a family had to b like tat. i don undersatnd y i had become like tat. i don seem to understand everyone no matter hw close. i know wat i know, i know hw to give in to family, follow their fake. i know how to give attitude to the close fren. treat them like shit, must as well said, i want to avoid all my fren. bt where de courage? i know hw pl hate me and my family. bt look, U, the bloody one. stop trying to spoil our relationship and her sister one. don b so fake and backstab pl. who care u. there are soo many thing tat u don fucking noe. u r been betray! FUCK! XiaoYi told me , face up the reality, don avoid, which i dono hw to do it. we talk and our tear roll down. As we think the family is changing. every year it seem like very different. the feel is nt there anymre. i didnt noe and really realise. i noe she dote me. bt, seem like i m avoiding everything. she also say that i changed my view and point of living since i moved, she said: " u are putting a fake smile, u r nt happy. u r avoiding everything, face the reality, u had become very quiet, u used to b very noisy, u r nt close to yr mum anymre, both r like stranger, don keep think the stuff, there is always no solution, also don keep thing to yrself, can find me for chat." these word make me very heart pain, very worry. once again, my brain was thinking all the stuff again and again. without any solution. After chatting with her, i went to the beach again, i breakdown. nobody is gona noe hw i feel. always ask me to 看开. i also dono hw to start everything by telling pl my problem. i am so fake with my fren, seriously, i dono hw to maintain anymre. the hide the lie the everything. i need a break. i want to quit fr relying. everyone seem to be changing OR my view of point had change? Thing is always changing, just tat i donwan to said to create problem. i rather live peacefully. and i feel like a idoit and retard for keep calling someone who don ans and reply to my fucking call/msg. Never again i gona do tat. Fat hope fr it. don b so confident. WeiLong, i am very sorry for doing that on yr bdae. I haf my point of view. it ok u for wat u tin abt me. i m really very sorry abt it. sometime, i am breathing so difficulty, feel like dieing. NOW, i noe i had change alot. i dono when the old me coming back. maybe it is nt goin to come back anymre. My appetties is nt very good nowaday, eating lesser and lesser for each day. feel like im making use of everyone beside me. i m living in a gulity life. i dono when my heart is goin to unlock. perharps, i need a big cry in someplace to free myself. maybe in the heaven with all the angels. gdnite. |
Biography ELING ♥ , she lovees her gans they gave her presents on Novmeber'fifth she will treat you how you treat her ;D YUP=) explore my blog and get to know me better=) even i don update often haha=). Santa's Job [♥] Gucci Wallet [♥] Great GPA in Final YEAR [♥] APPLE Iphone [♥] Genting/Cruise/Taiwan/Thailand [♥] Diving, Cable Ski, All sort of thriller outdoor games [♥] Meet up with all love ONES [♥] SINGLE LIFE! Those Lovelys. Shout Out.
Reminiscene. February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 credits. Designer |